Chris' Top Ten Albums Of 2007:

Before I get to the best albums I heard this year, we start with the stuff that was terrible, disappointing, or puzzling.

The Shit List:

Megadeth - United Abominations

Leading the way on the Shit List is Megadeth. Their last album, "The System Has Failed" was a great little record, and Dave has pissed it all away. Thinking that what the world wants is 'thrash', he has forgone all sense of songwriting in favor of showing that his arm isn't permanently disabled. Nice try Dave, but this sucks.

Velvet Revolver - Libertad

The first album from the demon spawn of Guns N Roses and the Stone Temple Pilots wasn't anything special, but it was a solid enough collection to make you remember why Slash is thought of so highly. This album, on the other hand, is bad enough to make you remember why Slash couldn't make it without the rest of Guns around him.

Helloween - Gambling With The Devil

A supposedly legendary band releases what's supposed to be their best album in a decade, and what's the result?: It sucks. Andi Deris is a terrible singer, and when he forgets to write melodies, he and the band have created an hour long platter of nothingness.

Foo Fighters - Echoes, Patience, Silence and Grace

I'm sad that I have to put this here. I like the Foo Fighters quite a bit, but they went and made a terrible record. It doesn't have any of the swagger of "There's Nothing Left To Lose", any of the balls of "One By One", and none of the pop sensibility of "The Colour And The Shape". Instead, it's Dave Grohl trying to cram too many sounds and genres into one album, all the while writing songs that leave no lasting impression.


The Also-Rans:

Kelly Clarkson - My December

A decent enough album, but not the best showcase for a more than capable singer.

The Heroin Diaries - S/T

Nikki Sixx > Motley Crue.

Darkwater - Calling The Earth To Witness

Prog metal can be some of the most infuriating music to listen to, full of wanking guitar parts and songs that go nowhere. These guys, while still having plenty of wankery, manage to actually write songs around these tendencies, which is quite a feat.

Manowar - Gods Of War

The local heroes try valiantly, and come up just a little short. Manowar is always some of the cheesiest music ever put to CD, and this is no different. If they had cut out some of the myriad interludes and spoken pieces, this would have actually been good. However, when half the album isn't actual songs, it gets too tiring to care. Nice try Joey. You're lucky I don't egg your house.

The Top Ten:

10. DSG - Hellborn

The first DSG album was one that was utterly infuriating. After the first five great songs, the album fell apart into a muddled mess of guitar wankerism the likes of which are rarely seen. I was pleasently surprised to see that the wankery was subdued to normal levels, and actual songs were written for the entire length of the album. This is the album Manowar should have made, but didn't.

9. King Diamond - Give Me Your Soul... Please

You have to take King Diamond with a grain of salt. His vocal theatrics are just that; theatrics. If you don't take he, or his horror-themed concept albums too seriously, he can be an amusing listen. This album is among his best, as he avoids relying solely on his falsetto to propel the album. The songs are focused, more compact, and catchier than any album he's put out in the twenty plus years of his career.

8. Fall Out Boy - Infinity On High

I should be ashamed of even putting this on the list, but it's hard not to when it's fun and catchy. It's a definite step down from their last album, but it's still a good time pressed to plastic.

7. Magnum - Princess Alice And The Broken Arrow

Magnum is one of those synth-laden pomp bands that I can never really wrap my head around. I hate layers upon layers of synth, but some decent songwriting, and Bob Catley's amazing voice make this enjoyable.

6. The Codex - S/T

This is a bastard child of an album, born from the songwriting of album-whore Magnus Karlsson and from Yngwie Malmsteen singer Mark Boals. Luckily for all of us, this sounds nothing like Yngwie. It's solid proggy power metal with a mediocre singer.

5. Bloodbound - Book Of The Dead

Bloodbound's first album is among my favorites of all time, so I was not happy to see that they lost singer Urban Breed, recorded and released this album, and then were rejoined by Urban Breed. The replacement for this album, Michael Bormann is a good singer, but not for this. He strains and tries to sound 'heavy', instead coming across like he's tearing his throat to pieces. Much of the melody from the debut is also missing, but they still write enough good songs to make up for it.

4. Allen/Lande - The Revenge

Another album from album-whore Magnus Karlsson, this time featuring two singers who are simply amazing. Allen is a great singer, but Jorn Lande shines as a voice with almost inhuman power. The songs are all good to great, and whhen placed in the hands of two guys who can sing their asses off, turn into a great album.

3. Bruce Springsteen - Magic

I have never been a Bruce Springsteen fan. I admit it. If I hear anyone play "Born in the USA", I feel the urge to puch them in the face. That being said, I can't hate this effort. Bruce wrote vocal melodies for the first time in twenty years, and with a great band behind him, he's put together a collection of guitar pop that outclasses the schlock that gets shoved on MTV and the radio.

2. Scorpions - Humanity: Hour One

Who knew that all you had to do was sell your soul to make a good record? The Scorpions bring in a team of people to help them write songs, and suddenly they create something worth listening to. "Humanity" is full of great melodies and little musical touches that are obviously not their own work. None of that matter, mind you, when the results are this good. Not even a cameo from Billy Corgan drags it down.

1. Emerson Hart - Cigarettes & Gasoline

Is this a result of my seemingly never-ending attachment to certain artsits who made albums I love to death? It could be, but it's not outside the bounds of reason. Even if I'm giving this the #1 spot out of aural-nepotism, it's still a worthy album. Emerson was once described as "being able to shit a hook", and he hasn't lost that ability. Even though he's lost sense of the loseness and spirit that made Tonic's "Lemon Parade" my second favorite album ever, he still writes great songs, and he still has the same almost perfect voice. This is the kind of music all of those pop stars fiddling with drum machines should be making.


Songs of the Year:

1. Scorpions - The Future Never Dies
2. Avantasia - The Story Ain't Over
3. Emerson Hart - I Wish The Best For You
4. Black Sabbath (w/ Dio) - Shadow Of The Wind
5. Primal Fear - Fighting The Darkness
6. Magnum - When We Were Younger
7. Bloodbound - Black Heart
8. Allen/Lande - Under The Waves
9. The Dogma - Autumn Tears
10. Nocturnal Rites - Me