"Hypodermic Love"

Flowing through me - inside my veins
The toxic mess of you
I was once clean - not damaged goods
In me you have imbued

Finding my way through the valleys - oh - oh
Trying to get back to you - ah - ah
Leading this life isn't easy - oh - oh
Bracing myself for the truth - ah - ah

This hypodermic love ...

Bringing it down - letting me go
Injecting pain in my heart
I find myself - empty inside
Like I have been torn apart

Finding my way through the darkness - oh - oh
Trying to get back to you - ah - ah
Leaving my life behind me - oh - oh
Fully aware of the truth - ah – ah

This hypodermic love ...

I tried ...
I tried ...

Leading me down - to the devil
By a noose 'round my neck
I know this is - my final stand
Before I am born undead

Finding my way through the fires - oh - oh
Trying to get back to you - ah - ah
Leaving my wings behind me - oh - oh
And this all too painful truth - ah - ah

Finding my way through the ether - oh - oh
Trying to get back to you - ah - ah
Leaving the world behind me - oh - oh
And this all too painful truth - ah - ah

This hypodermic love ...

"Bittersweet Aftertaste"

She had eyes that could burn me
Which she focused on my heart
Hoping fire would ignite
To leave me burned and charred

The ice which fills my chest
Sinks any shred of life
It waters feeling down to tremors
And darkens foresight blind

- I find myself reeling -
From this unrelenting waste
I find it hard to swallow
Your bittersweet aftertaste

I find myself kneeling
My honor's been disgraced
My punishment lingers
Your bittersweet aftertaste

The chasm that's emotion
Swallows whole anyone weak
Yet the prognosis without it
Seems ultimately bleak

The idea that I can trust
Is rooted deep in faith
But faith is only an excuse
For indulgent inner hate

- Chorus -

I find myself wishing
That I am rid of the lies
The only known cure
Is to have my heart excised

- Chorus -

“Crushed Velvet”

If I had a choice – I would wear you out
Drape myself in your scent - to prove I’m devout
I’d sell myself – just to have a change
Set myself ablaze – to catch your glance

- I’m falling – I’m falling -
Falling for that smile – And your skin
Like crushed velvet – wondering where it’s been
Falling for that smile – and that glare
Like a full moon – cutting through the air

If I had my way – I would breathe you in
Keep you in my heart – until God knows when
I’d give myself – to be in your heart
To be able – to prevent any harm

- Chorus -

If I have the chance – I would hold you close
Feel your heartbeat – to hear your soul
I’d live my life – to make you proud
I’d give my all – this I’ve vowed

- Chorus -

“Ghosts”

Fading away – a distant memory
A smoke screen rises – and darkens on the scene
Blots the sunrise – and kills the calming light
Expands the darkness – to play upon your fright

- You always remember -
The ones you hurt the most
And the good times
They vanish just like ghosts

Raining blackness – paints the world monochrome
Slowly smothering – the world you’ve always known
Like a blindfold – to rob you of your sense
To test the theory – of the joy of ignorance

- Chorus -

- Chorus -

“Straight Jacket”

I think I tried too hard - Or not enough
But it’s so hard to tell when I’m wrapped up in love
I tried to think – of how to act
When everything is falling apart behind my back
And you were there – to show the way
As I could not figure out anything right to say

- But you leave so often -
That I - cannot soften
The sweet – emotions
That cause- devotion
In you
In you

I wanted to know – how to behave
I wanted to show you that I could be brave
And you noticed – but didn’t care
And I don’t even notice I’m falling into despair
Not having you – in my life right now
Wondering if it’s not with you will I ever take a vow?

- Chorus -

Oh baby – try one more time
To give me a chance
I’m sure there’s more to me
Than you caught in your glance
Why won’t you give me one more try
To show you what it’s like
I’ll do all my work for you
And I’ll never go on strike

- Chorus -

I think I tried too much – or not enough
But it’s so hard to tell when I’m wrapped up in love
I tried to think – of how to act
When at every turn you’re stabbing me in my back
And you are there – to show the way
And I just can’t think of anything right now to say

- Chorus -

“Film Noir”

What’s the point of life – when nothing ever works?
Everyone’s out for themselves – and responsibilities are shirked
It seems that in the end – we’re destined to find out
The only thing that’s real in life – are our feelings of doubt
We use words like “the truth” – to pull the wool over our eyes
Because faith requires work – and there’s comfort in our lies

- Is it possible to live when you cannot feel? -
When nothing exists within you can anything be real?
If life is the projected image of your inner film noir
Can you reconcile life with your emotional abattoir?

There seems to be a contradiction – where life is only what you sense
That you’re filled with nothing – but yet you still exist
Your heart may have been trampled – crushed, broken, and burned
And the lessons of this pain – are the only things you’ve learned
There appears to be no meaning – just a solitary mess
And as such you have reasons – to say life’s an uninvited guess

- Chorus -

It’s the lack of sensation – that leads to apathy
With no positive reinforcement – the heart begins to atrophy
And surely a point is reached – where there is no turning back
And feelings people take for normal – become a heart attack
Life has never been easy – it was never meant to be
But surely feeling something – opens new doors to see

- Chorus -



“Atonement”

Soot and ash mar her face
Darkening her once bright smile
Her tears cut pale streaks
Her sorrows streaming her denial
Her face once illuminated rooms
Now it blends in with the floors
A sepia toned facsimile
Of the woman who was so adored
Her eyes once glowed with fire
The burning heat of her love
Now there are flickers of embers
A raven where once a dove

- And she dreams -
About days passed
And she wonders
How long she’ll last
She knows she’s made mistakes
And she knows she must repent
But there is no atonement
For the life she’s led

Smoke coats her lungs and throat
Making rough her gentle call
The scratch of her voice saddens
Another stitch in her pall
Her chest heaves with more effort
As she fights to catch her breath
She doesn’t stop the ecstasy
Not sure how much is left
She dreams of times forgotten
When she was still naïve
Before she became addicted
Before her tears stained her sleeve

- Chorus -

Her eyes have since darkened
They seem to look inside
She continues to grow distant
As though she has a secret to hide
The window to her soul
Has been frosted opaque
She’s shut out the world
Ashamed of her mistakes
She no longer sees her beauty
Inside her looking glass
She sees hopes and dreams and faith
Tangled at an impasse

- Chorus -

“Blackness”

And I look up at the stars
And I feel so miniscule
The blackness stretches so far
If I’m alone then I’m a fool
It’s ego that takes over
And says it all belongs to me
But I couldn’t be any lower
Unless the skies enveloped me

- Out there in the blackness -
Somewhere out of reach
There’s hope for forgiveness
That might set me free
Out there in the blackness
Something is meant for me
It’s here for forgiveness
That allows me to think free

And I look into the blackness
Like a window into my soul
There’s a sorrow to be harnessed
Floating amongst the cold
It’s ego that takes over
And says it all belongs to me
But I couldn’t be any lower
Unless the skies enveloped me

- Chorus -

I look into eternity
And I see nothing for me
Everything is changing swiftly
While I’m a worn marquee
It’s ego that takes over
And says it all belongs to me
But I couldn’t be any lower
Unless the skies enveloped me

- Chorus -

“Crucify My Dreams”

When you look deep into my eyes
Do you see tears or do you see ice?
My heart’s been frozen for so many years
Letting it thaw’s one of my biggest fears
To be shut off is to lose self-control
And these facades take emotional tolls
To be a martyr would justify the fight
But first I must be consumed by the light

- So crucify my dreams -
And bleed me of hope
There’ no life for me
Left in these weary bones
So crucify my soul
And let my spirit die
I have no will to go on
When I can’t feel alive

When you put your hand in mine
Do you feel warmth like I am alive?
My heart pumps blood but that’s not enough
Living is more and this is just a bluff
To be stoic is not to live
It’s only acting and something has got to give
There’s so much to life that I just don’t know
There’s not enough time and I cannot cope

- Chorus -

When you listen can you hear my heart beat?
Do you feel comfort or does it make you weep?
My body’s empty as I’ve lost my will
My heart has been broken and my spirit spilled
To be shut off is to lose self-control
And these facades take emotional tolls
To be a martyr would justify the fight
But first I must be consumed by the light

- Chorus -


“Invisible”

I may feel like I'm nothing
But I know I'm even less
'Cuz nothing's known to everyone
And I don't know if I exist
I turn to make my exit
And I see that no one's flinched
At that moment I understand
That I won't be missed

- I’m invisible to the world -
And I’m always off the map
One more time being passed up
And I think I’m gonna snap

I’m looked upon as nothing
And it’s gotten to the point it’s old
If no one cares that I exist
Why shouldn’t I be cold?

People think I'm hopeless
Which I take as a compliment
All that goes to show
Is that I'm as sick as them
A hopeless man can't be happy
And that I'm certainly not
But I know that I want more
'Cuz I hate what I've already got

- Chorus -

I may be self-deprecating
But I do it to be safe
I beat everyone to the punchlines
Of the jokes they're gonna make
It's easier to self-loathe
Than to try to make a change
But there always comes a time
When you have to rearrange

- Chorus -

I seem to have a problem
That no one has yet to solve
Trying to make me human
Is a process too involved
'Cuz I feel like I'm nothing
But I know I'm even less
'Cuz nothing's known to everyone
And I don't know if I exist

- Chorus -

"Make me Believe"

Oh girl can't you see that I'm restless?
I'm waiting for you for as long as it takes
And ev'ry moment that I'm thinking of you
I hope you know my entire body aches

I'm not gonna say "I'm unhappy"
Because nothing's further from the truth
But sometimes I can't help it
I find myself reaching out for you

- I only want to be with you -
Holding you in my arms as I fall asleep
I only need to have you
No one else can make me believe
I only hear your voice
Calling to me when I close my eyes
I only need to know
When you're dreaming that you hear mine

Can't you see that I'm hoping
That this tension will work it's way out?
Our love is growing and it knows no bounds
And there's surely no threat of a drought

I'm not gonna say "I'm ungrateful"
Because if I did I'd be lying
And to know that I hurt you like that
I'm sure I'd find myself crying

- Chorus -

Can't you see that I'm nervous?
That we're heading someplace we don't know
I'm not so good at new situations
But I'm willing to try it for you

I'm not gonna say "I'm not scared"
Because I'd be in denial
And sometimes being scared is good
It means you still feel enough to smile

- Chorus -

"Please"

Do you know what you can do - to a soul fragile as mine?
I'm hoping you know - that you've already made me blind
You've already dreamed - everything you could ever want
And I'm trying - to live up to that nonchalant

Do you know what you can do - to drive me right up the wall?
I swear to you - that I will come at your call
You've already shown - that there is no quit in me
You can bet - if I do you'll go down with me

- You're just making things harder -
Trying to drive me into your arms
Turning me into a martyr
The first one to be entranced by your charms

You're just making things harder
Trying to bring me to my knees
Turning me into your guard
Look in my eyes and you tell me, "please"

Do you know what you can do - to make me melt inside?
To resist - I know I haven't really even tried
You've already got - me into such a state
When you want - more you won't ever have to wait

- Chorus -

You know how to seduce me
To mold me into your slave
You know how to use me
I'll give you everything you crave

- Chorus -

Do you know what you can do - to a soul fragile as mine?
I'm hoping you know - that you've already made me blind
You've already shown - that there is no quit in me
You can bet - if I do you'll go down with me

- Chorus -

“The Chase”

Questions are always being raised
But we’re no closer to the truth
We’re gonna have to take it on faith
Because we haven’t found the proof
It’s tough to live without answers
But it could be so much worse
We could find that in the end
Hell is nothing but this earth

- And if you want to know the truth -
You’ll have to look inside
It’s not something I can tell you
It’s something only you can find
And if you want to know the truth
You won’t find it here
You’re gonna have to search your soul
And you’ll have to face your fears

Everything seems chaotic
Just because nothing is clear
It’s not that we need everything
Nothingness is our only fear
And we think that we’d feel better
If it all fell into place
But what we never remember
Is that the thrill is in the chase

- Chorus -

We always question everything
And it never does any good
We try to explain what we do
Instead of finding out what we should
And we think that we’d feel better
If it all fell into place
But what we never remember
Is that the thrill is in the chase

- Chorus -
“Never Be Your Savior”

I could never be your savior
When you want to be destroyed
I know I've done it in the past
But you were only being coy
This time when you mean it
There's nothing that I can do
I won't be able to ease your pain
And I can't pull you through

I'm sorry that it came to this
I was hoping it never would
I begged you not to do this
But you thought you should
There was nothing that I could say
When your mind's made up
All I could do was be a friend
And try to act like I was tough

- What can I do -
To save your soul?
When I’m not sure
I have my own
I want to help
But I don’t see a way
To keep you safe
When you’re so astray

I know that you never knew this
But you meant everything to me
In a world that was cold and dark
You showed me how to see
And while things were never perfect
You knew they would never be
I thought naively
You could put your trust in me

I could never be your savior
But I could help you see the truth
That while you thought you were ugly
There was beauty inside of you
It may be unappreciated
By the people you kept around
You'll never know your potential
From your place in the ground

- Chorus -

I hate you for this
Even though you cared for me
You might have been the only one
But that won't grant you reprieve
You should have known better
And you should have stuck it out
Now I know that you're a coward
And I have to live with the doubt

I could never be your savior
But I thought that there was hope
I thought that if you cared to try
You'd have the strength to cope
And now I see you couldn't
You thought the future was too bleak
But don't you know it's killing me
That I'm the last to hear you speak?

- Chorus -

All songs copyright Christopher M Colavito